The Right and the Wrong way to Network

I wanted to share two completely divergent experiences I had with the same company.  The first was COMPLETELY wrong, and the second went about as good as can be expected.  To protect the innocent (and not so innocent), I won’t go into the name of the company (also because it doesn’t really matter).  Instead, let’s focus on the lessons learned – both good and bad.

The First Experience — horribly wrong

I met this guy Jeff at a networking event for young professionals.  He seemed like a good guy and was involved with an organization that paired professionals with charities and held social networking events.  We exchanged cards and promised to connect.

Within days we were “friends” on LinkedIn.  A few days later, we talked about getting together, and he suggested we talk about “how we can do business together”.  He works for an insurance company, while I work for a bank that offers investments and insurance to compliment traditional banking products.  On my LinkedIn profile, it mentions that I had a history of selling investments and insurance products more than 10 years ago.

To me, it’s obvious that I don’t need a financial planner, and, if I did, I have access to plenty at my work.

Jeff worked in the Irvine area, and I work in Downtown Los Angeles.  I told Jeff that I rarely go to Irvine during the day, and he said that he comes to his LA office regularly (which is next to mine), so we could meet.  I said sure in the hopes of building upon our friendship, networking, and learning more about the charitable organizations he’s involved with.

The day comes for our “30 minute conversation”… and oh boy.

First thing, I am surprised that he is accompanied by his manager.  I was a little weirded out, but decided to just go with it.  Next thing I know, the manager is doing all of the talking and asking very personal questions.  I’m thinking that he’s trying to gauge me for a position with the company due to my professional experience.  In the interests of a new friendship, I didn’t say much other than answer some questions about my background and try to redirect the conversation away from personal questions.

The manager persists and starts asking personal financial questions.  Since I had experience in personal financial planning, I realized that they were conducting a “client interview” to gauge my attractiveness as a client.  At that point, I went along with it because Jeff was obviously new to the business and would get some brownie points for referring a potential client.  I started making up answers that seemed believable, yet had no basis in my own reality.

At the end of the “interview”, the manager began to propose several life insurance options for my “needs”.  I redirected the conversation until, after 90 minutes, I told them I needed to get back to work.

I couldn’t believe that I had been suckered into that meeting!  I was almost as pissed at myself as I was at them!!!

After the meeting, the manager followed up several times to offer life insurance quotes.  I bluntly told him that I had researched term insurance options and compared to what he was offering, I could save approximately 40% on the annual premiums.

I understand paying a small premium to get great service or buying knowledge that would otherwise take a long time to develop.  I told him that I handle all my own investments and life insurance, and unless he was offering something of tangible value or knowledge that I don’t have, there was no need to continue the conversation.  He gave a few lame answers which didn’t sway me.  We hung up.

The manager persisted in calling every couple of months while I began to ignore his calls.  Finally, his assistant caught me on the phone because I didn’t recognize the caller ID.  I bluntly told him that I wasn’t interested, and that I had tried to be nice about it, but now that they continue to call me I needed to be blunt about it.  I even added my email address to the company’s do not contact list.

I checked on Jeff’s LinkedIn profile, and he lasted in the financial services industry a total of 13 months.  Hmm, I wonder why.  Come to think of it, I think that I only spoke to Jeff once after that initial meeting.  He must have sensed that I wasn’t interested, yet the manager did not.

The Second Experience — everything right

Recently, I was contacted by Mark, the son of a co-worker.  He was kind and polite while introducing himself and asked if I would be interested in talking to him.  Interestingly enough, he works for the same company as Jeff did.

I informed him that I had experience in financial planning and insurance, so I didn’t need his services.  He told me that he understood, but asked if we could meet anyway because he is new in the business and would to discuss my experiences and talk about people I knew who might benefit.  I agreed.

But also told him that the manager that hijacked the previous meeting better not show up.

He called me the day before to ensure that I still had time to meet.  I said yes.

When we met, we talked about what I do for the bank, his experiences in Korea, family, and some of the side projects that I work on.  We also talked about what I liked and didn’t like about working in financial services, and I gave him some advice that I wished others had given me when I was starting out.

Midway through the meeting, he asked if I knew of anyone who could benefit from a meeting with him to discuss insurance and financial planning.  We talked through a few names of people who I knew needed some help.

He then brought out a piece of paper with some names on it.  Mark had done his homework on me via LinkedIn and had picked out people who were a good fit for his business.  He asked if I minded talking about the people on the list and if I would refer them him to them.  As a rule, I never give out people’s names and numbers unless I know they are interested, so I told him that we could talk about them, but I would need to ask them before releasing their phone numbers to him.

We ended the meeting shortly thereafter since we had gone over the 30 minutes originally planned by about 15 minutes.  He followed up with an email with the names I agreed to discuss and ask permission for him to contact.

Overall, I very pleasant experience.

What #2 did right

#1 – Even though I initially declined, Mark found a non-threatening way to arrange a meeting

#2 – No surprises.  Everyone hates being ambushed, and Mark knew better than to have someone else attend the meeting.  Plus, he had confidence in himself to know he was well-prepared for our conversation.

#3 – Do your homework.  One of the reasons that Mark was confident is that he did his homework on me and my network of peers through LinkedIn research.

#4 – Know your goal for the meeting.  Mark knew I wasn’t a likely prospect, but he took the opportunity to introduce himself for future referrals and had a specific list of people he wanted my help in connecting with because they fit the profile of clients he wanted to work with.

#5 – Follow up.  Our meeting would have been all for nothing if Mark hadn’t followed up with the referrals we discussed and I agreed to contact for him.

Conclusion

Have you ever been in this situation… in my shoes or on the sales side?  I’d love to hear about your experiences and how you handled the situation.  If you haven’t been in either situation, how would you have handled it?